Les Miserables Biblical Commentary

Even if you are not a big reader, the unabridged version of Les Miserables is worth three-fold every minute it takes to digest its 1,463 glorious pages. I give you the following short passage in support of this claim (and I know Charlie Pardue is with me on this one). Though it fits impeccably within the gigantic narrative, it also stands on its own.

...he (the bishop) had his own strange way of judging things. I suspect he acquired it from the Gospels.

In a salon one day he heard an account of a criminal case about to be tried. A miserable man - because of love for a woman and the child she had borne him - had been making counterfeit coins, his real money was gone. At that time counterfeiting was still punished by death. The woman was arrested for passing the first piece he had made. She was held prisoner, but there was no proof against her lover. She alone could testify against him, and lose him through her confession. She denied his guilt. They insisted, but she was obstinate in her denial. At that point, the king's state prosecutor devised a shrewd plan. He maintained that her lover was unfaithful and by means of fragments of letters skillfully put together succeeded in persuading the unfortunate woman that she had a rival and that the man had deceived her. Inflamed with jealousy, she denounced her lover, confessed everything and proved his guilt. He was to be tried in a few days, at Aix, with his accomplice and his conviction was certain. The story was told and retold, and everybody was delighted by the magistrate's cleverness. Bringing jealousy into play, he had truth to light by means of anger, and justice had sprung from revenge. The bishop listened to all this in silence. When it was finished he asked, "Where are this man and this woman to be tried?"
"At the Superior Court."

"And where is the king's prosecutor to be tried?"

Read up those of you carrying out this "war on terror."

Will Ferrell and the American Jesus

How does Will Ferrell get it and such a large portion of the Church not?

In Talladega Nights, Ferrell’s character, Ricky Bobby, refuses to pray to any Jesus other than the “dear Lord baby, infant, 8 pound 6 ounce” (etc.) Jesus. When his wife informs his that he doesn’t need to continually refer to Jesus as an infant because, “he did grow up you know,” Ricky counters, saying he will continue to pray to the infant Jesus. When someone else is praying they can pray to the teenage Jesus in the temple or the adult Jesus in a boat, the dying Jesus on the cross, or even the decaying Jesus in the tomb if they like, but he will only pray to baby Jesus in the manger. Why? Because that is the Jesus he likes best.

Again, I ask: how is it that Will Ferrell can see that Jesus has become nothing more than a personal preference, a consumer option, when so much of the Church continues to, simply and ignorantly, choose which Jesus to peddle when we want to best “reach the people in our target demographic,” and which Jesus to “serve,” or appeal to, when we want something. How is it that Ferrell, the same man who donned a g-string Speedo for his appearance on Late Night with Conan O’Brien, has fingered our deficient interpretations that allow us to make Jesus into whatever best suits our group or individual interests (as determined by ourselves, of course) in various contexts while we continue proof texting in attempt to justify our child-like yearning to get our way?

Are you a combative Republican? Jesus can be that (Matt. 10:34 + Mk. 12:17a). Humanistic Liberal? He can be that too (Luke 17:21 + Matt 7:1). Marxist dictator? Check (Matt. 6:19, in light of Acts 2, + Matt. 10 37-38). Dangerous nomadic criminal? Sure (Matt. 8:20 + Lk. 23:32-33). Hermetic hippie cannibal? Yup (Mk. 1:35 + Matt. 6:25-29 + Matt. 26:26b-28). Let's go nuts; Jesus can even be an entrepreneurial motorcycle aficionado if you want to do some serious scriptural gymnastics (I don’t, but some niche marketing mega churches do). So pray to whomever you like.

Do you not like the Jesus that makes you uncomfortable by calling you out of your old life and into a new one defined by discipleship? Well fine, he doesn’t have to be that anymore. He can now become our spiritual masseur who relieves the tension “other” Jesus’ create. All we have to do is pluck him out of our favorite point in the narrative and construct an entirely new Jesus by creatively re-imagining that newly isolated moment, like the young girl I recently read with during an after school program who dispensed with the book’s story altogether in favor or her own fairy-tales made up on the spot as inspired by the accompanying pictures.

The problem with all of these appropriations is that none of them take seriously the entire, eternal life of Christ. The full Jesus was much more radical and much more distinctive than any of our own creative constructions. That is why his disciples appropriated for themselves an original name that rendered all other appellations obsolete. That title never was and never will be Republican, Democrat, Liberal, Compassionate Conservative, Post-modern, Socialist, Progressive etcetera ad infinitum. No, those simply will not do. Only one will: Christian. And Christians pray to one God through Jesus Christ. All of him. Every last life redefining bit. Take all; withhold nothing.