An Advent Meditation

God's coming cannot be forced or coerced. It comes only as a gift. And as a gift, we must wait for the giver. But this waiting itself, even if painful and characterized by a felt absence, is the reception of God's gift of God's-self.

See, we can only truly long for the presence of one who is already present to us. We can long for someone, in the abstract, who is absent and unknown, but we can only long for God, in the particular sense of the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, who fully revealed himself in Jesus of Nazareth, this God we can only long for as his very presence creates in us the longing we feel for his presence.

So, may we, in our Advent longing for God's presence, sit in both anguished longing and the peace of God's presence, for they belong, indeed can only exist, together.

Starvation in the Land of Plenty

This morning, I read this during the morning prayer of the daily office: "Nourish your people, Lord, for we hunger for your word.

As I was praying it for us, I thought, "Can I pray this? Because I'm not sure we really hunger for God's word."

Then I realized that I was placing too much importance on our own awareness. Realize it or not, we are hungry. Starving even.

There comes a point when a person is starving (in the sense of actual, life-threatening starvation, not in the 'argghhh! I haven't eaten in like 6 hours' sense most of us are used to) when the hunger pains the person once felt fade away. This is because the body has begun to eat itself! At this point, even the though of food becomes unappetizing. But this does not mean the person is not malnourished. Is not slowly descending to death.

So, we certainly hope we become aware of our condition. But until then, we pray, "Please do not wait, O Lord! For we are starving for your word."

This leads to a more truthful understanding of the next line I prayed: "Rescue us from the death of sin and fill us with your mercy, that we may share your presence and the joys of all the saints."

Kenosis

those of us with homes and cars and dining sets.
with refrigerators, 401(k)'s and televisions.
with furniture and electricity and cable modems.
those of us who can go two months without wearing every outfit in our closets.

those of us who have letters behind our names
and preach in churches rather than from the church ...

... we have less to give God than the destitute.

may You take our abundant nothing and make something.

For Someone:

We would rather be ruined than changed,
We would rather die in our dread
Than climb the cross of the moment
And let our illusions die.

- W.H. Auden, "The Age of Anxiety"

Prayer: Reversing Narcissus

As it was with Narcissus, when we look at nothing but our own face, we die.

As it has been with so many anonymous and well-known saints, when in prayer we look upon the face of God, we die.

But these are entirely different deaths.

Wilson, Colbert, and Ehrman

Bart Ehrman (New Testament scholar from UNC) recently published a book that is getting a lot of attention, "Jesus Interrupted: Revealing the Hidden Contradictions in the Bible (And Why We Don't Know About Them)." If you are not familiar with Ehrman's work, this clip from The Colbert Report is an entertaining introduction.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Bart Ehrman
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor NASA Name Contest

For anyone who is interested, I'm linking a paper I recently wrote in which I argue that the Gospel of Mark - the gospel generally held to be the oldest (and I say "generally" because who knows? a lot of people think a lot of things) and used by many who share Ehrman's skeptical point of view to argue for an earlier "low" Christology (that if you go back far enough the earliest followers of Christ never believed Jesus was truly God) - instead presents a very "high" Christology (that Jesus was God) throughout in the way the author structures and presents the narrative. It's somewhat long for a blog post (18 pages), and not necessarily for everyone. But, if you are interested in how I might respond to Ehrman, given the chance, this would be it.

You'll see that, on the issue of the title "Son of God" I actually agree with Ehrman. Though only so far, because I also agree with Colbert's response. Though Ehrman is a little right, Colbert it more right. :) Ehrman uses that little bit of info as a straw in a massive straw man argument that lifts the title, that can indeed refer to a mere human, out of its narrative context. Anywho ... if you're interested, here it is:


I would love any feedback. I'm sure part of Ehrman's work would include arguing for the surgical removal of some or all of the very stories I use from Mark's gospel. But, to put it crudely for the sake of space, for many reasons I reject this type of approach. I think in this type of surgery the patient always dies on the table. However, if you're undecided and want some more to read, Ben Witherington's response here and part two here deals with texts that are even earlier than the gospels.

Question

Viktor Frankl once wrote, "...we have come to know man as he really is. After all, man is that being who invented the gas chambers of Auschwitz; however he is also that being who entered those gas chambers upright, with the Lord's Prayer or the Shema Yisrael on his lips."

I am working on a project that will hopefully turn into a message series, and, in the interests of that project, I have intentionally lifted this quote out of the context in which Frankl originally placed it so I can ask you this: what makes the difference?

(Rightness) Beneath Our Feet

i sit in a crowd
i led for years
and watch as they lean,
they're straining to hear
words from my wife,
who keeps her mouth closed,
but speaks with the wind
and cries as it blows.

i lie in a bed
dressed by a queen,
my hand on her chest
to feel how to breathe.
her head remains bare,
uncovered like trees
that crowd like a church,
and blush in his breeze.

i watch as she seeks
a peal in a sea
that's brown from the waste
of preachers like me.
she comes up for air
by diving below
(her gills are her prayers)
like water from stone.

The #1 Song When...

I found this over on Tim Keel's blog. Good fun. It will tell you what was the number one song on any date.

What was the number one song the day I was born? "(Just Like) Starting Over", by John Lennon. Sweet start.

The day my wife, Amy, was born? "Let's Hear it for the Boy" by Deniece Williams. They can't all be great...

My 16th birthday? "Un-Break my Heart" by Toni Braxton.

My 21st birthday? "How You Remind Me" by Nickelback. I'm embarrassed.

The day I graduated college? "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani. *Sigh* Dropping four in a row.

The day Amy and I married? "Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland. Wow. Totally inappropriate.

They day my son was born? "Just Dance" by Lady GaGa. Ahrrrrgh!!!

You know what, nevermind. The site sucks. Don't go there. I was a fool for thinking #1 songs might be consistently good anyway.

Ash Wednesday

I held my son today and nearly wept,
for he is mortal.

I hope some day I can weep tears of joy
over his transience.

Today I could not.

From An Environmentally Conscious Christian and New Father

Animation

contemplation and action:
a beautiful marriage
but like any vow
tying there and then to here and now
is oh so difficult to sustain.

in a moment
i often go
from Peace to anxiety,
effortless Breath
to constricted chest.
what pernicious etherial smoke
has been breathed into the pink lungs of Being?
what vacuum sucked in in?
infused solicitude into the veins
of the universe that simply Is?

Bread and Wine:
carnal and Divine
essential Blood and Breath
preserving the This from merely this
granting work to be beautiful rest.

I'm Glad Youtube Was There To Film This

Embracing the Shadow

I'm respectful of therapy and make use of it, but I want to use it now as a point of comparison to transformation. Much therapy today is a needed way of dealing with our problems. On the level that we can solve problems, most problems are phychological in nature. But, in fact, most solutions are spiritual. Therefore we have to eventually move from trying to solve them (which is good and needed) to knowing that we cannot finally solve them at the level that matters. Maybe we can only forgive them, embrace them, or weep over them.
- Richard Rohr. "Everything Belongs"

January 25, 2009

I do not want to present an overly romanticized vision of this whole thing, as, for one thing, I am convinced that a more consistent pro-life ethic would allow us to be moved to wonder (and repentance) far more often.

But this morning, I caught a glimpse of Eden and the New Jerusalem as my son, Corbyn Davis Ryland was born at 7:56 a.m. He was 6 lbs. 3 oz., 20 in. long.

I was also profoundly aware of the already-but-not-yet nature of our current existence as I watched my wife labor (a term that I am now sure is a euphemism) to usher him into this world, and could not help but remember (employing the full Christian sense of the word) the woman I heard mourning the loss of her infant 10 weeks ago in a hospital chapel.

The moment was incredibly unspeakable.

To a ...

You never were normal
but you never knew
That you shouldn't function
like normal folks do

Chalk lines on the asphalt
still no one would talk
Though some read the story
in your tip-toed walk

Your mom shut her eyes
but saw it for sure
Just re-wrote your ending
her sorry-sincere cure

We all remained silent
tongues tied by consent
And maybe that was best
time then was better spent

Mobile: standing and walking
you were able to feel
Emotion in ignorance
though no less real

But the day that they told you
you were a sick boy
a switch flipped inside their heads
that made you unlike their stout son
now you're dependent, decrepit instead

the words, "you sick" didn't do a thing
to wound your fight and confidence
it was the tone of their voice, and loss of your choice
that distressed your belligerence

so late the next evening
when you were not looking
defense slipped out the back door
and left you alone, like your mother's first lover
whom she never sees anymore

since the day that they told you
that you were a sick boy
it's happened just as they've said
you've proved nobody wrong
just showed 'em all right
affirming their arrogance
and promoting doctors to prophets
and by eighteen you will be dead.

Just for Kicks and Giggles

Amy and I are fast approaching the arrival of our son (the due date is 1.29) so I thought it would be fun to hold an impromptu internet pool for our friends who are not close enough/around enough to take part in the one we have going. So, post you best guesses on (1) when the baby will arrive, (2) what he will weigh, (3) how long he will be, and (4) what he will be named. The person who comes the closest in the most categories will receive kind words and blessings in an upcoming post (don't get too excited...many have already guessed).

Here's a hint on the name: it is biblical, but it is not a biblical name.

Grace and Peace.

...

i want to rupture this
but i'm not sure
why
or what this is

i want to break free
of _________
that weights on me

this condition, this order, this extension, this chaos
this introspection
this...
what?
this circumstance, this system, this emphasis,
this holy mess
this thought process
this!
this?

maybe it's sin
a sojourning symbiote leeched deep within some dark
cavern of my soul
that mistakenly feels adopted and at home
as i join an autocatalytic process of fun death

i'd confess it
and concede to your work if only i knew...
what?

maybe it's me

i would bust this thing that confines
me to mediocrity
and explore the possibilities
of who i could be
if only i could define



maybe it's these people
who limit our potential
and repress our passion
with their liberation
pessimism
and sensibility
is "it" mediocracy?

or,
maybe it is
just me
laziness, apathy
(intertia)
l..e.t...h....a.....r.......g...
y